Father Compares Mother to Newest Flavor of the Month, Daughter Cuts off Communication With Father

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    "AITBA for saying my dad's girlfriend can't ever replace my mom and then asking for no contact with him because he insinuated that she will?"
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    AITBA for saying my dad's girlfriend can't ever replace my mom and then asking for no contact with him because he insinuated that she will?
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    I (17f) for the most part grew up without a father figure. My mom raised me and was such an amazing parent to have around while dealing with a lackluster father.
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    My mom and dad divorced when I was 3 but separated when I was 2. My mom was 9 months pregnant at the time and left him to raise her children in the best possible environment which didn't include him because he was ab ive and a de beat.
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    For years I grew up with him in my life but not really because he would call me once every few months and that was it. My mom had a custody agreement with him that was court ordered he got us on the weekends she got us on the weekdays. When he
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    had us he was never at the house and he always left. We never had access to fresh food, hygiene products, proper clothes, or anything needed to survive. After 3 years of this he made an excuse about being poor. My mom never knew about the conditions we
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    lived in when with him. She knew the house was a mess but not how bad it truly was. By the end you couldn't walk an inch in that house without the floor being covered in filth and grime. My mom being the kind woman she is opened up her house for him to live in
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    while he got on his feet again. I was uncomfortable with this as previously they had lived with each other for a year and a half and it ended horribly. My mom however promised that this time they weren't dating, they were just friends and it would only be 3 months.
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    3 months turned into 2 years because he refused to leave. My mom had asked him to move out because he returned to his controlling ways and he said no. Eventually she gave him 3 weeks to move out and if he didn't she would simply kick him out.
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    He threatened me and my brother, saying that if my mother kicked him out he'd leave the state and never see us again. I had no problem with this as I was already tired of having to deal with him all the time.
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    He left and we hadn't heard anything from him in a year. Things started to get better as we picked up the pieces of our lives and moved on without him. We figured he left the state, wanted nothing to do with us, and cut us off. We let him and made no efforts of contacting him as we had no need to.
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    However, one day the home phone rang, at the time I didn't have a phone yet and so my mom had a landline for us to use if we needed to contact anybody. I picked it up thinking it was my mom calling from work because sometimes she'd call and check in on
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    us, but instead it was my father. He was talking about how he wanted to introduce me to a girl he had been dating. I reluctantly agreed, sheepishly being excited that my dad wanted me. I thought he was being sweet. As the
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    last time he dated a woman he introduced us to her once at a park and then a month later we went to my dads house to find out she had already moved in and they were engaged to be married later that same year. They never got married
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    but the way he handled the whole thing had always bothered me. I later found out he proposed to her before we met her that day at the park. A whole month before which would mean he could have only dated her for a month before proposing to her
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    because before that he was with my mom. The whole thing is really gross and I figured this time it would be nice. So, we set up a date to meet over dinner. I was excited because I thought maybe he'd found his
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    happiness and we could move on together. When he picked me up he took me to Richie's Diner where I found out she had 3 kids. Two older boys 13 and 12 and a 3 year old daughter. I hate to admit it but I was a little excited because if he married her
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    I'd have some step siblings. I am the only girl in my family so having a step sister seemed really cool. However, the fact that he hadn't previously told me about them bothered me a little. I felt like I was being ignored and pushed to the sidelines like the last time he had a date.
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    I sat down and didn't say anything. We all ate and the boys didn't really enjoy what they picked out to eat which really my dad off to the point where he kept yelling at them. The moment we got in the truck afterwards he started complaining about how badly behaved and
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    coddled the boys were for simply not liking what they ordered. We went to her house where I had found out that during the whole year that I received nothing, no birthday, no Christmas, no showing up to school events such as my choir
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    performances and drama shows, nothing but radio silence. During that whole time he had been dating her, her and her 3 kids. He had built up a whole new family in the time that he ignored us. I felt hurt and ignored like he had replaced us for a better
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    version of a family that he actually took better care of than he ever did us. The whole time he went on and on about how meeting her changed him for the better. About how he was a better man now thanks to her. How I
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    should accept her because she makes him happy. He never once apologized for how he treated his actual family that he ignored for a whole year. Still, I could see she made him happy so I was happy. I started visiting more
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    and he finally put in an effort that I had never seen from him before. Forgiving him would take some time but I never brought it up. I kept my struggle and my grief to myself aside from mentioning it to my mom every so often. Regardless I felt happy and
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    ready to move forward with this new arrangement in my life. That was until on one of the visits I had with my dad where we went to her house. My brother didn't come because he was having a harder time warming up to it all. I asked if he wanted to go and he said no, so I let
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    him stay home. I chose to meet them and move on but after what my dad has done my brother had the right to say no. My dad however was angry that I didn't force my brother to go meet her and her kids because he couldn't marry her until he did. I asked why he
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    wouldn't just already propose like he did last time because he didn't seem to care about what we thought about it then. He said it was different this time because we were older and could understand better now than we could have then.
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    He was mad at me for insinuating that he was a bad father. He told me I was being petty about old stuff and he asked me if my mom was getting into my head with her nonsense again. He then said and I quote, “see this is why I want to marry (new girl) because she is a better mom and
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    wife. She's not as insecure and insufferable as your mother is.” I was furious. My mother was a single mother raising two kids on one paycheck that came from her serving job. My mother never left us and replaced us with another family. My mother is the strongest woman I have ever met.
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    When we pulled up to the house he introduced me to her as "my new mom" and laughed saying, "it's about time we got rid of the old one" I didn't say anything as I hate conflict but afterwards I told him nobody can or ever will replace my mom and I have no further interest in seeing or
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    speaking with him. He got mad saying it was just a joke. He asked why I had to be as insufferable as my mother. He kept saying I was just jealous and being petty. He said I needed to get over it.
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    So AITBA for saying his girlfriend can't replace my mom and that I don't want contact with him because he insinuated that she will.
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    National-Put-9722 22 days ago Nta- this was the same for me just with my step dad he wanted to fill a hole that wasn't there I had contact with my father and he hated that he took my phone every other week all this is doing is growing resentment towards her and your father
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    julesk 22 days ago NTBA, your dad is impossible and you're unlikely to do well at his house.
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    Illustrious-Mind-683. 22 days ago NTBA. When I was young, my mother had custody of us after the divorce. She told me so many bad things about my father that I was actually afraid of him. A very complicated story later, I realized that most of
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    what she said wasn't true. I lost time I could have had with my dad because she was such a bitter person. It sounds like your father is also a bitter person. They can't stand the idea that you like someone else more
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    than you like them. Even though it's their own fault. It's ok to limit your contact with someone like that, or cut contact altogether. Do whatever is best for YOU. you can always reconsider your decision later on in your life if you feel like it.
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    shontsu 22 days ago Oh... · Please, I know you're still young, but your Dad is...not a good Dad. You're 17, embrace your mum and ignore him and his girlfriend (i.e., don't just say it, do it). Your life will better.
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    Mochipants 22 days ago NTA. Let new wifey find out the hard way what a wretched man her new flame is.

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